Well, if your car’s heater is weak, this is certainly one way to fix it! Forget a gentle stream of warm air; this tiny dashboard box apparently runs on pure, unfiltered Hades Power. It’s not just a heater, it’s a personal, handheld flamethrower designed to turn your commute into a Mad Max sequel. I guess a little over-the-top is an understatement—did the graphic designer just decide that a “pure rocket engine flames” was the best way to represent “cozy warmth”?

Look, when you’re desperate for heat, I get it, but I’m pretty sure “spewing forth flames” is less of a feature and more of a safety recall. This isn’t just going to melt the ice off your windshield; it’s going to melt the entire windshield, the dashboard, and of course the face of anyone sitting in the vehicle. On the plus side, you can now toast marshmallows on your way to work! Just make sure your insurance covers “spontaneous vehicular combustion” before you plug this little beauty in.

Car Heater - Portable Car Heaters for Vehicle, 12v